The first time I was laid off in 2013, I was upset but I was not worried about it because months before I found out I would lose my job, I've already had a new job offer, but that's not saying I would have resigned anyway. I would not have because I loved my job at that time. But at that time it was less worrying as I had a job secured before being laid off. Everything happens for a reason. I actually loved the next job.
The second time was very strange because I was in Malaysia at that time, the company in Singapore relocated me and after two months, the HQ decided to cease operations of the Singapore office. So in my mind, my hiring didn't make any sense and having just moved back to Singapore I was a little bit concerned. I immediately started applying for jobs and received and offer just a week after the lay off. I guess I got lucky.
The third time in 2018 was quite sad because I had hoped that this one was going to be okay and I wanted to stay there longer if I could. So after two years there the publisher decided to cease publication in the region. They called us for a meeting in a room and told us the bad news. I was more worried than before this time because I just had a baby and the thought of not being able to properly provide for my daughter stressed me out. Fortunately while still serving my notice, a new opportunity came with a much better offer and I just grabbed it.
The fourth time was unprecedented. Malaysia just went into lockdown due to the COVID-19 pandemic and so did the rest of the world. When the two top figures of the company sent a Zoom meeting request to me alone, I knew something's not right. I tried to tell myself it was just going to be a normal catch-up call but after three lay-offs, I knew better. Only this time it was done via a video-conference call. I felt a lump in my throat. I started to feel really worried because I knew to secure a new job immediately would be impossible with all that's going on in the world. It was hard to stay positive. But I knew I can't dwell on it.
Two months after the lay-off I feel more positive now. Although I haven't secured a new job yet, I feel good to have reconnected with people, it feels great that I finally launched this website and most importantly this down time has allowed me to work on a few new interesting projects that I wouldn't have had the time to do before.
It's normal to look back and think about the 'what ifs', thinking that you wouldn't be in unfavourable positions later. I'm guilty of that. But all these have allowed me to grow so much as a person and as a professional. I'm grateful for that.
The thing about What If's is, if we dwell on it too long, it'll be enough to drive us bonkers.
I've had my fair share of What If's as well, both in life and in my career. And being in a (somewhat) similiar position of wondering whether a new job awaits on the horizon, it's very inspiring to see someone branch out and pursue things like you have!
And Who Knows, maybe this time it'll be What If this phase in your life turns out to be the one that well and truly defines you. All the best!
Nazmi.